Juvenilitis Virus
by Skysong1
Summary: On hiatus: JOINT FIC WITH XIERA When an unexpected virus spreads...fun's bound to happen..
1. Chapter 1

*You feel yourself spinning, faster and faster, a vortex of colours swim by you, only one thought swims through your mind..."I'm gonna be sick"...then, as abruptly as all the twirling and swirling started, it stopped. And you tottle briefly before giving up and plonking down on the ground. Your in some type of old library. Someone looks up from a plush red armchair by the window.*  
  
Skysong1: Ahh, greetings readers. Xiera: Hurry up with it Skysong! Skysong1: Sheesh Xiera! Xiera: *rolls eyes* Just get on with it! Skysong1: Well, anyhow, I am Skysong1.and this here, is Xiera. *Xiera nods from her armchair**Skysong1 sneers then coughs* Xiera: I think that the readers know by now that we're both here, Skysong. Skysong1: This is our first joint fic, so please, be nice and click that wonderful button at the end labeled 'review' Xiera: Stop attempting to sneer, it doesn't look good on you. Skysong1: *resorts to scowling at Xiera* Xiera: Come on, I don't have all year. Skysong1: As my accomplice is not as patient or articulate as I, I hope you all enjoy this fanfic. *Lights dim, curtains are drawn up. Corny band plays even cornier fanfare*  
  
Juvenilitis Virus  
  
::Prologue:: (By Skysong1)  
  
It was during the middle of October, the students of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were chattering cheerfully about the Halloween ball to be held the next week. Boys fretted over their dates (or in some cases, lack of) and girls fretted over their attire (or rather, soon to be bought).  
  
Dumbledore stood up regretfully then coughed once to get the school's attention.  
  
"Excuse me, I got a very important announcement to make!"  
  
The noise level halved in decibels.  
  
"Unfortunately, Madame Promfrey had just reported that the Juvenilitis Virus is spreading around the school, the whole school is to be quarantined and no one is to leave school grounds.not even to Hogsmede."  
  
A few of the girls fainted, while others mouthed in protest, complaining that they hadn't bought the 60 Galleon dress robes that were apparently the latest trend in magical Paris. (Complete with the shoes of course.)  
  
Seeing the gathering protest march, Dumbledore continues, ploughing through the crowd like an efficient bulldozer. "Also, hence the Halloween Ball.is to be postponed."  
  
Silence and a sea of gaping mouths, rather like jelly fish really...  
  
"Now, the symptoms of Juvenilitis aren't dangerous, to say the least, basically, the affected person will turn to a quarter of the age. Their mentality, magical ability, physical.appearance. Would look the same as when they were.a quarter of their age!" Dumbledore gave a little chuckle as he repeated himself.  
  
"No cure is available, but the virus will blow away in a month or so. And after you contract this virus once, it is hardly likely that you'll contract it again in this lifetime.although there has been some exceptions.I want you all, if you see someone affected by this virus, to simply take care of them, treat your "younger sibling" as you hope to be treated yourself in your situation. We don't know how this disease is spread, so we have to wait until it is completely gone. If one of your friends or classmates get infected, please go to a teacher, and we can give then an identifying bracelet.for organization." Dumbledore paused thinking, "That's about all I have to say right now actually.have a nice dinner!"  
  
A few Hufflepuff girls screamed, as their friend seemed to burst into a puff of baby pink smoke. A 4 year old in pigtails peered up from her bench, nose scraping the wooden table curiously.  
  
"Can I havva lollypop?"  
  
Several people screamed.  
  
***************  
  
::Chapter 1:: (By Xiera)  
  
Harry sighed.  
  
6/7th year potions class with Slytherins was a nightmare, as usual.  
  
He looked around the room. Neville Longbottom was absolutely covered in charms, rumoured to reduce the chance of catching the Juvenilitis Virus. Snape's long beak of a nose broke him out of his reverie.  
  
"Potter," Snape hissed, eyes dancing at a chance to torment the boy.  
  
"What on Earth are you doing, staring off into space, your Veritaserum is totally unusable. You were supposed to stir it. Oh well, looks like you'll be getting another D. Clean up Potter, you may watch Draco make a perfect potion." Smirking, Snape swept away, to the sound of the sniggering Slytherins.  
  
Harry silently put away his equipment, determined not to let Snape have anything else to criticize on. He was just putting away the ingredients when he heard a pop, saw a puff of baby blue coloured smoke, and then a loud splash and some wailing. Harry turned. Everyone was pressed against the wall, staring with horror at a cauldron in the centre of the dungeon.  
  
Everyone, that is, except for an irate Snape and an extremely fat and squalling toddler, who was flailing its pudgy hands in what Harry now realized was Neville's "Specially Reinforced Cauldron." Snape scowled, and plunged his hand into the cauldron and fished around for a few moments before grabbing a wet and slimy infant Longbottom. He dumped Neville onto the nearest table before banishing bits of Veritaserum off his hands.  
  
As soon as he was out of the goo, baby Neville stopped crying and started hiccupping. Between hiccups, he managed to say, "Hawo. I'm Newil. Have you come to wescue me fwom gwanny? Uncle Wobert says she's w-w-welated to a dwagon. She's scwary!"  
  
Everyone, including Harry and excluding Snape stared at baby Neville as if he'd grown three heads and had spoken in an alien language.  
  
*****************  
  
Author(s) Notes: Read, Review.or else! 


	2. Chapter 2

*Skysong1 enters with Xyeran the temperamental warhorse and Balatro the Shakespeare-reciting-basilisk.*

Skysong1: Hello all, thanks heaps to all who reviewed…but hey, keep the reviews rolling!! 

(Thanks to Jess16(*hugs* wow you've read my other fics as well…here's a cookie!!), Isis Rose Potter(Please don't die yet, you haven't finished reading yet!!), PhoenixPadfoot89(Hey, you get a cookie too!! ), MoonGoddess25(Ta!! Thanks for the review), athenakitty (Ooo…I find your reviews v.interesting..lol)) 

Xiera and myself would like to know any problems so we can fix it etc. 

Tro: Indeed, as said by the very intellectual Puck in Shakespeare's "A midsummer's night dream" *All groan*__

"If we shadows have offended,  
Think but this, and all is mended,  
That you have but slumber'd here  
While these visions did appear.  
And this weak and idle theme,  
No more yielding but a dream…"

Xyeran: Shut up Snakey, or I'll bite your tail off…oh wait, you're all tail…And there's isn't much difference either end. They both have holes and a lot of gas comes out.

*Skysong1 frowns*

Skysong1: Let us continue nevertheless… 

****

**Juvenilitis Virus**

::Chapter 2:: (By Skysong1)

A week or so later, the entire staff of Hogwarts sat disgruntled and stressed in the teacher's staffroom. Noticeable bags hung under their eyes, especially noticeable were the weariness of the Heads of Houses. 

Professor Mcgonagal stared blankly at the wall, her usually neat bun, a haze of brown hair streaked with more white than the previous week. Professor Flitwick snoozed loudly in an armchair, oblivious to his surroundings. Professor Sinistra was reading an upside-down book, not noticing. And Professor Snape was…more 'Snape-ish' than usual.

"What are we going to do? I can't have 3 year olds running around while I explain the three types of mythical runes?" The Professor of Ancient Runes said despairingly. (A/N: Anyone know his/her name?)

"They pulled out half of the plants in greenhouse one to make a sandpit!" cried Professor Spout with an expression of uttermost pain.

Even Hagrid wasn't spared, "They all wan'ed piggy back rides in the middl' of a lesson of 'ippogriffs with the thir' years! They're cute 'uns an' all but…" 

Snape growled angrily, and everyone in close proximity backed away, "Do you know that half of them aren't potty trained?? The other half 'does their business' in my gold and pewter cauldrons."

Dumbledore decided it was time to step in, "All right, anyone with a suggestion on what to do??"

Professor Trelawney piped up in her misty voice, "I had foreseen this situation for a long long time, and now it is my turn to fulfil the fates."

Mcgonagall rolled her eyes and snapped, "Spit it out, go on."

Trelawney blinked rapidly, then gave a sly smile, "I suggest, a day-care."

Conversation rippled. For once, Trelawney gave a good idea. 

Snape sneered, "Well, who do you expect to spend their time baby-sitting three-year-olds? Dumbledore?"

All eyes turned Snape-wards.

Snape's normally pallid skin tone, dropped a few shades.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in the Gryffindor common room, trying to finish their Transfiguration essays, "Explain the use of the "flick, flick, twist and turn" hand movement in transfiguration of small detailed objects. State at least three examples."

Rom threw his quill down in disgust, "I need another example. 'mione, help please?"

Hermione frowned at her 6th scroll, and tongue sticking out, she proceeded to squeeze in her remaining paragraph.

Harry looked up from checking his spelling, "You know, we're very lucky not to have caught it yet."

"Caught what?"

"Juvenilitis, I mean."

"But I think everyone except those who had already caught it is going to catch it. If its not dangerous, its much better for it to be completely blown over you know?" Hermione put down her quill with a flourish and started massaging her fingers.

Baby Neville decided to enter at the moment. Let in by a 7th grade prefect who was on the way to the quidditch pitch. The entrance of the Gryffindor common room had been tweaked so that if anyone under the age of 5 comes within close proximity, the common room in alerted by a flashing light to someone could let the toddler in. Mcgonagall was a bit paranoid password-wise. (Especially concerning the case of Neville Longbottom.)

"Hawo!"

"Hello Neville." Hermione, Harry and Ron chorused back absentmindedly, pouring through their homework.

"Watcha dwoing?" A pudgy face rose from the edge of the coffee table, from which the trio was working.

"Homework. Why don't you go and play with Seamus?" 

Seamus had caught the only a few days ago, and seemed to have bonded a 'childhood friendship' with mini-Neville. Unfortunately, they were worse than Fred and George Weasley when wrecking havoc.

"He went to go peepee…"

Three eyes shot up and stared at Neville. Harry was the one with the courage to ask the fundamental question, "Neville…Where, EXACTLY did he go peepee?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, no, no. Dobby says stop!! Please don't do this sir! Dobby will be in big trouble!!"

Seamus gurgled, enjoying himself tremendously. He knocked down several cooking house-elves and manage to make a few of the more highly-strung ones faint from the sudden appearance of all this mess and disorder.

"Dobby! Melly begs Dobby to do something! Only Dobby allowed by headmaster to use magics on humans…" A panicking house-elf cried desperately as Seamus decided it was finally the time to do his business-in a pile of cabbages.

Covering his eyes with one hand and waving his other hand in the general direction of  Seamus, Dobby redirected his "business" else where, namely down the garbage chute which leads to some compost. Now with extra phosphorus. 

"Dobby!! Have you seen Seamus?"

Dobby peeked out from between elongated fingers, his eyes widened and his expression changed into one of joyous relief.

"Mr. Harry Potter Sir! Dobby is very glad to see you!!" Unfortunately, Dobby also forgot about Seamus and the cabbages, but a light twinkling alerted him. Dobby's face screwed into alarm.

"Seamus! Stop that now!!" Ron grabbed Seamus by the robe (shrunk by Madame Promfrey) and cringing slightly, started redressing him. Hermione shuddered and turned around.

"I'm very sorry Dobby…" Several disgruntled house-elves started hurling the spoiled cabbages down the compost chute in rapid succession.

"No, its Dobby's fault. Dobby should have been careful and made the fruit painting higher. Dobby very sorry!" Two tennis ball eyes looked at Harry Potter with sorrow and what seemed to be exhaustion.

"Dobby has been making baby food!! Dobby's new recipe!! Mr. Harry Potter sir want to try some?"

"Err…no thanks…"

The door to the kitchen opened.

"Ahh Harry, Ron and Hermione, just the three I was looking for!"

Dumbledore entered. He wore an oversized apron, stained with baby food stains, over his azure robes. Obviously, he had just returned from helping Madame Promfrey in the infirmatory. Professor Snape scowled grumpily behind him.


End file.
